Hungry ghosts are creatures of insatiable greed. Through their button mouths, they feast on material goods whilst their bellies gorge to furthest extremity and then swell some more. Feeding does not satisfy; it only makes them more ravenous. Hungry ghosts originate from Buddhist mythology and remain a part of Japanese culture today. They feature heavily in the Obon Festival and, most famously, have made their film debut in Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away (2001).
Spirited Away is an indictment of avarice. The trouble stems from Chihiro’s father who always wants to venture ‘a little further’, and does not fear punishment for eating unattended food because they have ‘credit cards and cash’. When Chihiro’s gobbling parents turn into swollen pigs, the message kicks your teeth out on landing. Later we meet No-Face, the hungry ghost who showers the bathhouse attendants with pellets of gold in exchange for food. They eat until they are global. When No-Face’s offering is rejected by Chichiro they lose control, turning their appetite to the staff. Now shaking the bathhouse with their footsteps, Chihiro manages to cure No-Face’s gluttony by feeding them medicine. They eject everything that they consumed and wilt like an un-watered plant. No-Face follows Chihiro around for the rest of the film, desiring her approval and beseeching her to give them a purpose. With their monstrous tantrum snuffed, they are left completely lost.
When I most recently rewatched Spirited Away, I felt a likeness with No-Face that I had not felt before. I realised that I have my own hungry ghost. A ghost who is insatiable, who wants to be more, do more, achieve more. My ghost is hot on my heels and wielding a ruler to both measure and beat me with. No resting is allowed for my ghost, they must always be moving forward. Their size increases with every piece of prose, wastes away from the starvation of a blank page. They are what draws me back to my laptop with the compulsion of an addicted gambler. They whisper to me that I have not produced enough, not worked hard enough, not made enough sacrifices. I am always repentant. I am constantly a shade disappointed in myself. My ghost’s hunger puts me under crippling pressure.
While this sounds awful, my ghost also gives me ambition and agency. They help me stay consistent. They drive me to keep going even when I don’t want to. While No-Face is devouring people at least they have a purpose. The truly tragic part is when they are cured and left searching the walls for a wisp of direction. Like many people, I feel quite lost in life. I never know what I want to do next. My imagined future changes every day. But my projects are the one thing tethering me to a sense of self. I don’t know what I would do without the compulsion to produce things.
No-Face’s redemption comes in the form of Zeniba, a witch who lives a humble life. There they find comfort sipping tea and spinning yarn as Zenbia’s apprentice. They discover a new sense of purpose through self-acceptance. They no longer devour everything in sight but instead use the edge of a fork to cut a modest mouthful of cream cake. One of the final images of No-Face is when they are sitting in Zeniba’s cosy cottage, their ghostly hands holding knitting needles. At that moment they are so utterly endearing it is hard to remember the monster they once were.
I have realised that I attach too much of my self-worth to progress. Perhaps like No-Face I need to find simplicity, where I can detach my identity from what I produce. No-Face found peace in sipping tea, so perhaps I’ll try this gentle, measured approach. I’ll do something soley for fun, not to master it. I will take time to notice the sunshine or the comfort of clean sheets. I will read for joy instead of research. I will take up stargazing and colour with crayons. All these small joys will take time away from working on my ambitions and that will be uncomfortable at first. But the more I try, and the more joy I can find through simple things, the easier everything will become. I hope to reach a point that, when I am not working, I don’t feel guilty. I hope not to feel estranged from my purpose just because I don’t commit every waking moment to it. Or maybe, like No-Face, there is an entirely different purpose for me somewhere. A purpose soothing and gentle but only visible to me if I am standing still.
If you liked this, check out some of my other recent pieces:
That’s all this time. Leave a comment with your thoughts! Goodbye for now (◕‿◕)♡
Photo credit to Studio Ghibli who released a series of images for fans to further enjoy the Studio Ghibli films and for ‘reasonable use’.
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